And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Randomize
