He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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