I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize