I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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