It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
