dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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