Is it normal to miss your booty call?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize