When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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