I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
