is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
