Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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