I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
