Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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