i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
