We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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