can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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