fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
