DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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