Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
