this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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