There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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