you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
