She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
