I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
