how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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