Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
