wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
