Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I met the friendliest cop last night
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
