Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sorry about my life...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
