last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
