return my video game
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Randomize
