So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
