This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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