Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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