RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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