i barfeds in our rink
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
