it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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