i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
