he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
