So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You were trust falling into bushes
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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