I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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