You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
