im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
