I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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