I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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