K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
