that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
