you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
