Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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