Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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