The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Say something about gay babies.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
