If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
