Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
you made out with another girl for some wings
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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