so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
