there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
