How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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