I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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