As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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