Non-Jews are for practice
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
