think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
